Lobbyists Are A Better Investment Than CDs And Stocks

If you have no ethical problems with engaging in grand larceny then hire a lobbyist. The rate of return on this type of investment can be several thousand percent or more if AIG, GM, Fannie Mae and dozens of large banks are used as examples. GM's ten million dollar investment may yield more than one hundred billion dollars in returns within a single year! That is certainly a better profit margin than they make on the sales of their vehicles. Come to think of it, they make no profit on the sales of their vehicles.

Lobbysists are not for everyone, however, since a few million dollars are needed to get started. After that, they are self perpetuating. A small percentage of the taxpayer loot that is awarded will be automatically reinvested in the lobbying firm which will then "influence" (bribe) the appropriate congressmen to keep the ball rolling. One final note - a sob story is helpful. Something like "my business has lost billions of dollars (due to stupidity, incompetence and insanely high bonuses) but is too big to fail" will be helpful.